Because We Have Incisors!

The opening of a vegan strip club in Portland, OR reminds me of an old battle I used to wage daily living in Virginia.

During meals, I found a favorite sport among meat eaters was pointing out why not eating meat is a ridiculous pursuit because we are meant to eat meat. And I should mention now that this post is almost 100% directed at my former college roommate Ryan (I miss you pal, but that doesn't mean I won't subject you to a one-way argument wherein I offer you no chance for rebuttal). I'm completely open to discussing the ups and downs of a vegan diet and its viability, but one particular argument always made me want to run a bolt-gun into the person putting it forward: Humans have incisors that were made for eating meat, so we should use them for that task.

Right, of course! How could I be so obtuse? A piece of my anatomy allows me to do something, so therefore I should do it! That seems logical enough...

Certainly years of exercise puts me in better physical condition than a majority of people and I know that I'm at least strong enough to beat the dentures out of an old lady, so it follows that--even though I find it morally objectionable--I should use my superior strength to wrestle her change purse away because I need money to survive. I need money like a I need protein and yeah, there are other places to get it, but getting it the easy way is best!

And yes, our teeth are "made" to eat meat aren't they? Why, I bet I could walk right up to a pig and just take a big ol' bite out of his tender hind quarters like the proverbial Big Bad Wolf! Actually, despite Mike Tyson's ability to chomp into another humans ear, most people can't use their teeth to tear into flesh. Without being ground up or cooked first, the most a person could do to a piece of meat is leave some teeth marks in it.

The vegan strip club is aimed directly at the sort of people who are likely to proffer the old tooth argument, which is an offshoot of ideas about manliness/hunting/power. Historically, animal rights and women's rights were somewhat aligned in that it there was overlap between proponents of both ("I am not a piece of meat"/"I will not eat meat") -- a subject the NY Times piece on the club elaborates on.

So, maybe Ryan would never listen to me, but maybe he'd listen to the girls at Casa Diablo?


[photo by Lisa Bauso for The New York Times]